You are home to watch Pravda on televisir about degenerate murderer who is on the loose. You look out the window door to beet field, and you notice Man standing in the snow. He look like foto on televisir and he smile at you. You gulp vodka, picking up fone to your right and dialing Local Militia Precinct Commissar. Back out the glass you look, pressing fone to ear. Notice he now closer to you. You drop vodka in shock.

No footprints in snow. It was reflection. You dullard!

Your apartment is bulldozed down to make way for glorious tractor factory!

One night man is riding mule down dirt road. Young woman stands on side of road, calls out for ride home. Is very cold in Soviet winter. Man takes off coat and puts it on back of mule. Girl is also cold. Man gives her sack of turnip for to wear. Girl is much thankful for ride home.

Next morning man realize it is day for buying turnip at market, and girl still has sack. He goes to her house. No girl is there, only father. He says daughter died in salt mines ten years ago night before. Man returns to mule, turnip sack is on back of mule.

SOVIET HONESTY IS STRONG! EVEN DEATH NOT STOP REPAYMENT OF DEBTS!

"Father, I had a bad dream"

You take a sip of vodka and roll over. You stare at the clocktower on Sobornaya Square it's 3:23. "Go back to sleep, there is work tomorrow."
"No, Father."
The familiar warm buzz of vodka starts to sink in. You can barely make out your daughter's pale form in the darkness. "Why is that, devochka moya?"
"Because in my dream, when I was about to go back to sleep, the thing wearing Mother's skin sat up."
You pause, and face your daughter and look at her intensely. The figure behind you begins to stir.

"Don't talk that way about your brother, it is not his fault we have no money for coats. Such is life in Moscow."

During great war against fascist pigs of germany there was medic.

Medic work very hard but not have enough supplies.

Suddenly after bad bombing many injured scared because they find wounds patched using people skin.

Medic is found laughing with holes all over. Medic is promoted for his resourcefulness and sacrifice for mother Russia.

On your 33rd birthday, go to your mule station and pick up newspaper.

The classified ads will have a small segment commemorating your contribution to mother Russia.

Upon looking behind you, KGB man dressed in black will be advancing in your direction.

If you choose to run away, he will hunt you for the rest of life, eventually killing you for being fearful of KGB.

However, if you await his arrival and show no intent of fleeing, he will kill you for being unproductive.

Once I hear story about girl in Chaplygin. She was asleep in her bed, when she feel lick on her hand. She thinks it is dog and goes to sleep. Next morning, she finds note on dresser with dead head of dog. It says "Comrades can lick too." She screams.

Father comes upstairs, takes belt off and beats her. Moral of story is daughters should not yell in house like peasant. House is not Siberian pigsty. I worry daughter will never find good Russian husband.

OH FUCK I LOVE THESE (and now you)

i wish you were a name fag so i could properly say i love you X3

Eh?

Did you stop? If you did, somebody's going to have to continue this.

Oh thank God! I thought I lost all these when Dasuchon went down

I love these. There has to be more of them out there, right?

Not Op but contributing

Comrade receives call of phone.

Caller: "May I have five minutes of your time?"
Comrade: "No, capitalist pig, time is not yours to take."

Comrade is applauded for being true Soviet.

One night man tries escape from gulag.

Makes his way to cabin in middle of tundra. Inside is plain, but many family pictures on walls. He falls asleep. In middle of night he is put in sack and dragged out. The next morning he is shot like dog.

Pictures are windows. KGB always watching.

Once there was a small boy who went to school to become proud Russian Communist. He found of a picture of a pretty American girl with smile and two fingers into peace sign. He takes the photo around and no one is knowing her.

One night he hears tapping on window. He looks outside and it is the girl. "Fuck you American" he screams, and throws potatoes at her.

She keeps this up for several nights until boy is out of potatoes. He leaves his house to kill girl but is hit by a car instead. Driver gets out and takes the boy's photo. Girl is now holding a potato and has 3 fingers raised with a smile.

KGB is called to investigate woman's charred body found in oven during winter. Only clue found in the house is a cam-corder which is empty. Later on a video is found in a well that has dried up due to bad Fall turnip harvest. Inside of the well is a tape depicting a woman crawling into the exact oven, it shaking, and a black cloud coming from the oven. The woman does not resemble in any way the body found at the scene of the crime. KGB rules it off as occupant trying to get warm during frigid Russian winter. KGB burns down house to keep neighbors happy and warm.

Another version of >>116

Mother and father very tired of taking care of children all the time. One night, they call babysitter so that they may go out and have dinner.

While they are at dinner, babysitter calls asking if she can remove statue of glorious leader Lenin from daughter's window, for it very unsettling.

Next day, KGB arrest babysitter for calling glorious leader "Unsettling".

But...such is life in Soviet Union.

Somewhere in West Vladivostok, you will find a frozen pond with a pair of ice skates lying in the middle. Put them on and begin skating. After a while, a small group of Capitalists will approach you and challenge you to a revolution, which you must begin.

After the revolution, you must go home and relay the events to Comrade Lenin. He will then inform you that you have an aunt and uncle living in one of the districts of Moscow, and out of loyalty to his motherland, he will send you to live there for an indefinite period of time.

With no personal possessions because ownership is the capitalist's way, go to the station and await a train. The train that will pull up will bear the word FREEDOM on the side, and upon closer inspection, a bust of Stalin will hang in the window. Although you will suddenly realize that cabs like these are extremely decadent and capitalistic in nature, do not bear any thought to it. At this point you MUST salute the comrade in the front of the train and say ‘Yo comrade, to Moscow’. You will stop in front of a mansion, and there will be somewhere between 7 and 8 other families living there, even though it will be a privilege to share your home with fellow comrades. Get off of the train and say ‘Yo comrade, smell ya later!’, but do NOT turn back to face the conductor. Walk up to the door, salute your motherland once, and then knock on the door three times.

If you follow these instructions, your imperialism will get flip-revolted upside down

For brief period in 1971, great mother Russia provide novelty "x-ray" glasses through mail via advertisements in Anti-capitalist comic books.

People who view out window while wearing these glasses reported seeing images that were "hellish" or "like hell".

It noted that phenomena occurred regardless of if window open or closed.

KGB quickly kill these people for insulting motherland's appearance. Investigations reveal these were just regular glasses.

There is certain road in cold, harsh Siberia, which, if you drive down it alone in the snow, you will suddenly have real feeling of disconnection with inspiration of Lenin. Your radio will continue to chant glorious propaganda.

If you continue forward down road for greater than a minute, you will find that you cannot reverse crappy vehicle, and everything behind you is pitch dark. There are no other cars (only the wealthy have luxury of vehicles).

Continuing down the road, you will come upon a fork with no signpost. In the middle of the fork, there will be capitalist pig, covered head to foot in heavy coat. Only skin visible will be around eyes (the weak cannot endure the harsh sting of lady Siberia).

To be comrade, you must run vehicle directly into capitalist. Retrieve body and use to feed family. You will be applauded for cleansing homeland of filth, and food come to starving family.

Although the Communist omnipotent entity we refer to by tradition as Marx was first called Glorious Leader by the revolutionaries.

Legend has it that the high officer of KGB passed from one to another his true name, made up of 72 Russian letters that, when spoken, would summon his presence before the speaker.
This was required for their annual ritual of asking for forgiveness of the comrades - by asking face to face.

So what would happen if you found this combination? And what could you petition?

Well, Marx did provide warning, "Fear not those who can destroy the body and then do no more...fear him who, after killing the body can destroy the motherland" (Lenin12:4-5)

There is abandoned mental hospital at the top of hill in Moscow.

Once every five years an old rusty box spring appears within the courtyard of the hospital.

If you can sneak inside and sleep through the night on the bed, in the morning a man with a shirt that reads “Hail Glorious Leader” will take out his wallet and give you picture.

This picture will show you how you will die. If the picture is of KGB, running won’t help.

I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Kiev. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want a room. She tells me room number and give key. “But one more thing comrade; there is one room without number and always lock. Don’t even peek in there.” I take key and go to room to sleep.

Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red.

Water still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. “By the way who is in that room?” She look at me and begin to tell story.

There was woman in there. Murdered by her husband. Skin all white, except her eyes, which were red.

I tell her I don’t give a ****. Stop the water trickling or give me refund. She gave me 100 ruble credit and free breakfast.
Such is life in Moscow.

In Russia, coffin has pipe for air, and bell with string. If man is true Soviet, he does not die. When buried, yells for undertaker and rings bell.
Bell rings. Is no wind.
Undertaker asks - "Are you lady Gorbochev?"
Voice says "Yes!"
"Born winter of 1927?"
"Yes!"
"Gravestone says 'Died 20 February, 1957"
"Niet, am still living!"
"Am sorry, but is August. In June, ground will thaw. You must wait for June."

And woman is true Soviet, waits for June.

Last one I have that hasn't been posted.

Old Comrade was sit alone on path. Not sure of direction to going, and forget both where traveling to…and who Comrade was.

He sit down for minute to rest legs, and suddenly look up to see old woman before him.

Woman say: “Now third wish. What will wish be?”

“Third wish?” Comrade was baffled. “How can be third wish if I am having no first and second wish?”

“Comrade has two wishes already,” woman say, “but second wish was for to return everything to way it was being before you had first wish. So it is that you have one wish left.”

“Yes,” he said hesitantly, "Am not believe this, but no harm in try. Am wishing for freedom in motherland to know self."

Then woman kill man for being defiant to motherland.

Kriegs wrote some /x/ish horrorfic back in the day. Imma ruin them :V

Location unclear, but exist cursed alley in winding streets of Moscow. Is say, when one approach alley, voice of comrade will whisper with great urge but without making of sense.

Is say comrade who follow hear whisper more loudly and bring more sense. True Soviet comrade will tell whisper know of deep personal secret and vision which flee into dark of shadow. And then turn back whether is of prior knowledge of cursed alley or of desire to return home for early rising.

Is all information true Soviet citizen need know. Those venture farther into alley are capitalist swine. Is known for bodies found at mouth of alley with hamburger in hand and bullet wound in head. KGB not let traitors live for disgrace Mother Russia.

(However, is also said: traitor scum find dead also have smile on face. Such are terrors of capitalism.)

Door is open.

Why phrase ring of capitalist corruption?

Is for door mean much.

Take look at glorious state-built lodging. Assume there is door. Now, stare at door. Examine with analytical Soviet mind. Is door open? Is door closed? Is door only slightly open so can see light or dark on other side? Is door wood or metal? Is comrade on other side working hard for Mother Russia?

Now close door.

Now return to post, comrade. Close eyes for twenty seconds. At end, view door again.

Are sound of hard work for common good coming from other side? Is shadow of diligent comrade visible? Is light or dark? Door is perfect - no rot, no rust. You cannot see through perfect Soviet door, no?

Now think: Beyond door is glorious pit dug by comrade. If leave room, you will fall for long long time and then die before bottom is reach. Is because bottom does not exist. True Soviet worker dig true Soviet pit - true Soviet work ethic demand bottom be destroy like capitalist pig. Any sign otherwise is American propaganda. Is only look like pit have bottom because you are traitor scum who yearn for American hamburger and pornography for which to stuff filthy bourgeois face. But if you are true Soviet communist, veil will be lift. You will open door and see that glorious Soviet pit has no bottom.

But what if not true? What if sound of comrade digging pit outside is not enough for rouse from dreaming? What if all Glorious Soviet People's Republic is not exist either...

But thinking too far.

Door is like gulag.

Is power of door. When in state-built dormitory and door is shut, outside world is put in gulag. Is only you and Mikhail, Vladimir, Peter, Nikolai in men's half. Woman's half is different story. Even lock is proof of generous Soviet government of proletariat. Capitalist swine cannot enter and steal vodka ration. But is pleasant. Much security in private gulag. If like loud, then is loud with sound of labor for better country. If like cold, is cold of Soviet winter. If do not like loud and cold, then you are capitalist swine. True Soviet communist will put up with discomfort for better all comrades.

Door is defense of dormitory like glorious People's Army is defense of Mother Russia.

Door is keeping comrades safe. Knocking on door is bad. Is like American attempting to oppress workers around world and invade Soviet Union.

If only knocking, slightly disturb. If hard knocking, if door slamming, then there is trouble. Capitalist swine are attempting for destroy generous door ration given by Soviet government. Is much worse if clawing at door or slithering like dirty capitalist snake. And then dirty finger encrust with filth of excess reach under door to oppress.

But strong Soviet door will keep safe.

Now think of open doorway. Is place of entrance for cold Siberian wind in winter. Is place of entrance for cold Siberian wind in summer. Is place of viewing of glorious motherland and seeing of glorious works of comrades building strong city like Moscow.

Are you hearing? Is voice of Mother Russia, calling to all Soviet children. Is voice of father, of mother, of comrade Natashya in dormitory across hall. Or is sound voice of American whore? Door is keep safe, but is not allow for seeing through. What is really on other side? What capitalist plot is door protecting from? Is Soviet door enough for stop capitalist advance? What if American capitalist break down door and oppress you and comrades but does not for like watching hardworking Soviet people suffer?

This is why door is funny. Is protect, is isolate, is make ignorant like capitalist. If you are on good side of door.

Door keeping comrade out is bad. Door keeping capitalist inside is worse. What if door is close for this reason? Assume no longer in dormitory, but find old door - unsafe and make from toiling hand of oppressed worker. Is good door? Is bad door? Perhaps you should open.

Bad idea opening door.

Door is seal. With closed door, you are safe. If door is closed on something, you are safe. But what if curiosity tell you open door? True Soviet comrade will not open door to McDonald restaurant. But true Soviet comrade will never see door to McDonald restaurant.

Door causes blindness. Is because of chemicals used in doormaking plant. Generous Soviet government very sorry, working hard to discover cure. In meanwhile shield eyes when entering. Even better, though, for on other side of door is capitalist decadence. If open door, terrible scene of oppression is await. Is good you do not have to open door. Pity for comrade who does.

But that comrade is you. True inspiration of Comrade Lenin is on other side of door. Is best if you are prepare. One must take responsibility for what is behind door.

"You have open door that cannot be close," Comrade Natashya say. "Hinge is broken. Take form 156b to commissar office in morning."

Summarizing: Door keeps safe from outside but does not allow to see outside. Door keeps capitalist within, but beware traitor who wish becoming corrupt. If you are open door, are you prepare for face consequence?

But why would you not open door? Is Mother Russia, no capitalist pig residing here.

Is glorious Union of Soviet Republic where everyday hard labor for support worker revolution. Is glorious Union of Soviet Republic where KGB make entire village of traitor disappear.

Is many reason for not open door.

Door is capitalist maw. Is open and shut like jaws of monster. If wrong room door will eat you. Door lead into womb of Mother Russia. Do not disgrace her by enter.

Door hide gateway. When door is open even capitalist swine may enter. Capitalist must have your permission to corrupt you. You allow for corruption by open door. Is said terrible monster call "Door-to-Door Salesman." For travels from door to door corrupting comrade with capitalist decadence. But you must open door. Or door will open for you. Is because door still has not been fix. No time for fill out form and visit commissar office after working.

So if door is open or close is no good. Will you leave door close and be blind by chemical in doormaking plant? Or will you open door and be corrupt by capitalist swine? Or what if door is broken and open by self for capitalist to enter?

Oh no, is late. Far too much time spent contemplating door instead of work. Now comes comrade KGB man to kill you for being unproductive.

Such is life in glorious Union of Soviet Republic.

(Based on: http://kriegsaffeno9.deviantart.com/art/Enter-the-Scary-Door-20193363)

stolen

Does anybody have the one with the capitalist dog statue? Or any pro-revolutionary creepypasta :(