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[start - crits loved]
I couldn’t believe he would try to do that again. I’m honestly scared for him.
I can’t tell you what other people were thinking when they heard about it. Sure, some would feel that bullies are to blame, but do the bullies feel anything?
I wish I could stand up against them, but I do not have the best means of doing so.

Yet.

I thought that, by now, there'd be less people who would go Mean Girls-style on him - I really did. I don't like being wrong.

Luckily, we got to him before he could fall off the roof or cut himself. Neither his mother, Jim, nor myself want to see him in this much pain, and, quite frankly, it scares me that he fell into this state of depression and self-loathing after a long period of getting used to things. I loved how he just ... there's not a word I can use other than BLOSSOMED into what he is now.

But so many bullies.
So much pressure.
So much misunderstanding and hate.

I know how he feels, but I don't have his courage.

~

It started last August. I was still hearing my classmates say racial epithets about the new president, Obama. Not surprising, given this is south Texas - we still have people naming their dogs the N word. I didn't exactly have the greatest amount of friends, but I did have some really close ones from my elementary school years. Mike - her mom insisted on Michelle, but Mike just liked "Mike," so it stuck - was one of the few people to defend me when my ex, Sam, decided to brag about how he managed to tease "the faggot Aaron" (me) into thinking I would actually lose my virginity, one way or another. That guy was such a bastard, but somehow he still gets the women.

When he and I were dating, I was the unfortunate subject of his experiments with kissing. I think he watched way too much porno to reference what he should do - and it showed. I had to repeatedly tell him to stop. I don't think his female "conquests" mind, though, because they're only 16 or 17. (Even as I recall this whole story now, I'm just barely outside of 17 and enjoying the summer.)

When he broke it off, he spread word on Facebook. It was how my old man found out. I had to flee to Jim's place. Jim, my other friend from elementary school, is one of the kickers for our school's team, the Fighting Bulldogs, and was already scouted this early for a major NFL franchise. I kinda wish he was gay, just so I could fantasize about him and not worry about retribution.
[more to be added later, i'm just trying to flesh this]



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